Chasing my last marble

So by monday I have two papers to write; one of which is over a movie that I haven't seen :s  by December 3 I have seven regular papers and one huge research paper...I'm going to try to knock 3 papers out today...and one tomorrow that will bring my total to 3 regular papers and a research paper, someone send out some prayers for me because right now all I can think about is losing weight before going on vacation and eating chinese food lol I know I contradict myself what's new.

Tonight in this empty apartment

Here I am again, alone. I feel like I spend quite a bit of time alone which I'm usually ok with, but this week it has been particularly difficult for some reason. I think most of it has to do with the fact that I feel like I've lost my bests friend. Greg and I seem to fight constantly even when I deliberately don't say a word in order to not add to the drama we still end up fighting. When you no longer have your best friend to confide in it makes for a pretty lonely existence. It would be pretty easy to go out and spend time with other people and its even easier to find another man, but I don't want either I want to be with him but nothing seems to be working nout now. One minute we are talking about engagement rings and the next minute he is telling me that he doesn't know why he is with me anymore. My feelings are so hurt from just an accumilation of things that have happened in the last couple of months and because I don't feel like I can tell him how I feel I therefore feel alone. What a problem to have. I don't trust him to appreciate what I have to say and I don't know how to get over it silently and alone.

My Sponge is Leaking...

I am so sick of studying...I feel like that is all I'm allowed to do with my life anymore. I used to sing and dance. Make jewelry, read books like the largest nerd you'd ever seen but now when I do have free time (few and far between) I want to sit and stare and do nothing. My question is how long does it take someone to bounce back from the traumatization of 16 years of schooling? Do you ever enjoy the things you used to enjoy again?

I sure hope so

If not I'm going to have to completely find new hobbies later in life and I was quite satisfied with the ones I had.

On another note...why are men completely uncapable of remembering a schedule that has been in place for months now. I just got asked if I wanted to go eat lunch...he is supposed to know that I'm at work! And then I head straight to class, I don't understand every Tuesday and Thursday has been exactly the same what makes today any different?? OMG I know why people become lesbians I really do because life would be so much simpler if men thought just a little bit more like women.

I'm supposed to be studying for a Historical Archaeology test that I have in 45 minutes, but instead Greg is stressing me out because he just gets these spur of the moment ideas that only work for him and I can't cram anymore information into my spongy brain, its full, over flowing, my sponge is literally leaking.

I'm so ready for a vacation, December 11th you couldn't get here fast enough. Greg and I are going out of country for his Graduation/Annirversary/Christmas present from me, he doesn't know where yet but its good and I cannot wait. 34 more days in class...hallelujiah!