Tonight in this empty apartment

Here I am again, alone. I feel like I spend quite a bit of time alone which I'm usually ok with, but this week it has been particularly difficult for some reason. I think most of it has to do with the fact that I feel like I've lost my bests friend. Greg and I seem to fight constantly even when I deliberately don't say a word in order to not add to the drama we still end up fighting. When you no longer have your best friend to confide in it makes for a pretty lonely existence. It would be pretty easy to go out and spend time with other people and its even easier to find another man, but I don't want either I want to be with him but nothing seems to be working nout now. One minute we are talking about engagement rings and the next minute he is telling me that he doesn't know why he is with me anymore. My feelings are so hurt from just an accumilation of things that have happened in the last couple of months and because I don't feel like I can tell him how I feel I therefore feel alone. What a problem to have. I don't trust him to appreciate what I have to say and I don't know how to get over it silently and alone.