For the first time in a long time I don't have any plans for the future, nothing is set in stone I have no idea what's going to happen in the next six months; I feel completely lost. As long as I can remember I've had my life planned out beautifully, everything has ran at least somewhat smoothly and now I have no idea where I'm going. I have my tentative plans riding on Greg and I getting married, but he hasn't even proposed yet, I feel so stupid for having plans revolving around that, but if I don't then he will propose and I'll have to change all of my plans, so its a lose lose and its complicated either way.
If he doesn't propose soon I'm going to have to change all my plans because I can't go to the Grad school that I want to go to without the military discount that I'd have if I were married to him. Why can't my life just ever be normal? I'm so tired of not having any plans, I hate feeling lost and it doesn't bother Greg at all; he seems to think that whatever happens happens, but he isn't applying to grad school either and trying to find the money to do so nor is he planning his life around someone that he is supposed to follow all over the country without a ring or a plan...I'm a little scared if you couldn't tell already. Hopefully something will happen soon I need some plans to be set into place so I don't have an anxiety attack on a regular basis or just get up and walk away from everything and move to ten buck too, neither of these are good, but both have crossed my mind today.
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